Keith nails it when it comes to his emotions and the election, especially when it comes to an inability to fully understand certain actions. His "father/son/Trump" example demonstrates this well enough. For me though, I want to stop for a second and just think about "emotions" a little more deeply. These emotions are more than just simple feelings. They can have actual influence and effect on our physical bodies. For example, when I feel anxious, my heartbeat takes on a life of its own. This "feeling" isn't particularly dangerous, at least according to my doctors, but it is real, it has an effect on me, and I think it actually ties in with what we're doing here recently.
It started when I was in early college. I developed this weird electrical issue in my heart that sometimes causes my regularity to get a little funky. It's not a true murmur, and structurally my heart is sound, but the beat itself takes on a number of different qualities pending the day and level of anxiety. I've had it slow down to the point of hospitalization, which is exceedingly rare, but more regularly it just feels like my heart stops beating in my chest for a second before getting back to its job. When this happen, a massive heavy feeling sits on my chest, making it hard to breathe and focus. If you're ever watching me on Zoom and you see me shake my head, that's why I'm doing it. Habermas and Foucault can be stressful! Yet to the exact same point, this stress is kind of "fun" stress to me. I'm learning, growing, and in a way, I am trying to "feel" or at least open my feelings to new possibilities every time I read. I can tell you right now that I know we do not all share the exact same values or ideas. I don't think anybody truly does. Yet in this class, and my life in general, I tend to adore moments of conflict where I can just hear others out who are willing to do the same with me. These moments give me hope, while others feel like they are slowly killing me.
This is why I get so damn frustrated when it comes to Trump and a number of other figures. Sure, some of their positions in general I find offensive and worrisome, but far more commonly it is their mocking attitude and clear and intentional dismissal of certain issues as irrelevant or not worth consideration that pushes me to my limit. This stuff simply rages at my anxiety, and here lately, it has literally caused a physical reaction in my body. My emotions, something I cannot perfectly place into words or rhetoric, matter so very much that as I watch election results or listen to people talk on TV or social media, I just have to clutch my chest and hope for the best. Literally.
So, trying to get a pulse on things, what I'm struggling with right now societally is that when we mock emotions as a form of meaningful rhetorical action, we potentially create a barrier between a situation and authentic reactions that simply cannot exist in alphabetic terms. Mocking this therefore eats me alive. What's more problematic then is that we seem to thrive on this, or at least some of us do. I can't tell you how many times I've seen Tweets or signs from people say things like "cry again, liberals" or something similar. We are actually seeking out and welcoming the destruction of feelings that do not align with our own. I don't know about you, but when I see somebody else cry, that's when my emotions kick into the highest of gears.
I very rarely cry due to my own circumstances. I have other reactions, like my aforementioned heartbeat, but for me to cry, it usually depends on me seeing the pain of another person before my own waterworks engage. If something terrible happens, I will not cry for myself, but I will absolutely cry for you. It is here, with this lack of recognizing the power of emotions, that I find myself truly worried for our nation's future. I'm not asking you to cry for me, but I am asking everybody to maybe just pause for a second when they see pain and fear in another human being and try to process what got that person there, even if you do not agree.
I'm not pushing an argument that we all need to agree. I guess I just want people to effing care about each other for once.
Hi Troy,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, thank you for sharing your own personal struggles with us. It's never easy to talk about things like that, even when they do help to explain a point.
I agree with your assessment of how emotions have been frowned upon in society and how it is negatively affecting almost everything, including politics. I think this comes down to emotions being seen as weakness. We still live in a very patriarchal society, and weakness in men is frowned upon. You always hear phrases like "man up" or "boys don't cry." These views have infiltrated almost every aspect of our country, removing any emotion and therefore taking out a lot of personal reaction. Emotions are so powerful, but we have taken to suppressing them to fit within societal norms. It's a sad reality.
It's actually kind of funny that you say the "boys don't cry" thing, because whenever I hear that, I kind of giggle to myself. I am SUPER emotional, if you haven't guessed as much. As I say above, I rarely cry at my own expense, but shit...a sad puppy commercial is fair game for me. I've always been that way, too. Nobody ever really told me this specifically, but I was aware as a kid that my tendency to cry was not terribly "masculine." But how the hell could I help that? It wasn't until later on in life that I realized that when I get upset, I sort of turn into a super hero in terms of determination. This is precisely why I no longer suppress them. I welcome them. If I hide them, I completely shut down.
DeleteTroy, I sort of needed to hear this. I was listening to The Daily (the NYT podcast), and a reporter was interviewing a diehard Trump supporter who was crying about the election and how much she thinks America sucks now (her words). She talked about how the lockdowns affected her business, her kids, how scared she was about voter fraud, and... I did not care. I was very uncharitable. All I could think was that she was definitely stupid and probably racist. Maybe I was right, but it's not a good default way to think about people who don't agree with me. I'll handle the next one better.
ReplyDeleteWe are hearing a lot about reaching across the aisle right now, and there seem to be two arguments. One: forgive and forget so we can heal and move on. Two: they spent five years excusing white supremacy and violence against minorities, and we should not be the ones making concessions. Where do you stand? Many of us also have some level of privilege (racial, religious, gender, etc.). Does that change how we should react to Trump supporters in Biden's America?
I've been sitting on this for a few days, Cameron, thinking of a reply. I will get to it, but I'm not ready for it yet. You ask a tremendous question, and one that deserves a reply. Once I start feeling a little better, I will get back to you on this.
DeleteHi Troy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I agree. I think the problem is the inability to empathize with the stranger anymore. So many people find it easy to care and sacrifice for family and friends. But unwilling to simply walk the shoes of a stranger. That's where our ability to compromise truly disintegrates. To think beyond our personal situation to the bigger picture.
Thanks, Brynn. You bring up a good point about the strangers in our lives. Maybe I am the oddball here, but when I'm in a big city, or when I'm driving back and forth from work, I occasionally see a homeless person. My whole heart just breaks every time. I hate the "they probably just don't have a job and are begging for money" argument," even if it were true for just one person.
DeleteSometimes I get caught up in the "I wish I had" mentality, and while there is nothing wrong with wanting safety and health, I can see these strangers and realize I'm one lucky man. Feelings RUN my life. That's a really, really good thing and a REALLY, really dangerous thing. I probably need to be a little more balanced, but I think if we collectively continue to embrace and promote a world that acts as it is currently doing, I fear for our future.